July 23, 2007 - To say she was just my employer or may be just a friend would be incorrect. She was a friend and yet my boss, she was my boss and yet more than just a friend. She loved me like a mother would, cared for me like a friend would and yet there were times when she treated me like a boss would.
She promised me she wouldn’t leave me like the others had and she did not. KJ left me like I least expected. She left me through death.
My heart tells me this is all untrue, that this hasn’t happened, yet mind refuses to believe so.
She is gone, Kavita Jain my boss, KJ my friend, and Kavita my surrogate mother, leaving me with nothing but innumerable memories… with a void like no other.
Will I ever feel the same, I don’t think so… will life ever look the same, I am unsure… will I ever get to see those twinkling eyes or hear that hearty laughter, I am unsure, for she will never return.
I used to call KJ my ‘my back’; the one who would always be around to help me out of a tight spot, and now she is gone, gone forever. There is no Kavita there… it cannot be true, but it is.
I feel so lost, so lost – like a child lost in a carnival, unable to see one familiar face in a sea of faces… I try to breath, but it is too painful a thing to do, for there is no Kavita and it is thought that refuses to leave me even for a second.
To think that I shall never share my glee or joy with her again or let her words of humour and wisdom wash over the sorrow of my life… it all seems impossible and implausible.
Even though it all seems impossible without you Kavita, yet I know I will have to carry on, for you will kill me, when I meet you up there. I will miss you everyday KJ, each day you shall be remembered by this ‘Flunky no. 1’ of yours. You shall forever be alive in my heart.
For you were, are and will forever be my friend, philosopher and guide.
