WHEN A DREAM BECOMES REALITY

Each morning she wakes up, thinking that a new day has come, and everything will be different from this day on…

Zoya hasn’t even stepped out of bed as yet and she lights up a cigarette.

That first drag fills up her blood with toxic nicotine, burning her chest, singeing her lungs, killing, her softly.

The bloody alarm goes off again...she’s yet to understand why she sets it everyday, even though it’s been five years since it has gone off before she has woken up. Probably it’s just another habit that she refuses to break.

For Zoya, giving up on a habit, is nothing less than giving up on her own self! It is compromising on who and what she is!

Slowly, she gets out of bed to switch off the alarm, but not before lighting up another cigarette. She steps out of bed completely naked, not caring if the windows are open and the world can look into her bedroom…that being something that many do, for Zoya is a ‘treat’, to put politely. Broad shouldered, well toned arms and legs, a flat board stomach, supple breasts and hips, a wheatish complexion, hair that goes below her waist, jet black just like her wide and expressive eyes.

Men and women fawn over her alike, but Zoya couldn’t care a ‘rat’s ass’, putting it in her word’s.

She walks up to the coffee maker, the same thoughts are running through her head as she pours out steaming black coffee for herself…another addiction of hers.

She thinks out aloud “It’s going to end one day! Maybe today will be the day when this void will be filled up…I wont sleep alone…may be we will be back together….”

Sipping her coffee, she fires up another fag, and tells her mind to shut down, and stop thinking. She hasn’t a thing to do, and she isn’t in a mood for a run.

There are still two hours before Dr. Zoya Javed has to get ready for work. Another day with people, who don’t know, understand or respect her. She hates her office, but she loves her job, and so she hasn’t quit in the last five years. She loves what she does…she loves writing for children…a passion. No one really knows Zoya…except for Subhashini and me.

Zoya’s life seems to have stagnated in the last five years, and slowly a thick layer of dust has formed over it. It has settled in so deeply that however much one tries removing it, it will not be possible…until unless a miracle happens.

Zoya looks up at the painting above her bed, and she breaks into a smile. She fell in love with it the first time she saw it. It mesmerised her. And, each time she looks at it she smiles that beautiful smile of hers. The smile is for the hope, faith and belief the painting fills her up with.

She grins, and shakes her head, as if to tell herself that it is stupid and immature of her to believe that anything like love exists.

Draining every last bit of her coffee, she puts on another pot to be made, and walks in for a cold shower.

Dripping all over the room, not caring about the puddles of water she leaves behind, Zoya walks straight to her closet, and pulls out the first Sari that comes her way. It takes her ten more minutes than the usual to get ready, because the asshole of the drycleaner hadn’t starched and ironed her Sari properly.

Cursing him under her breath, she manages to finally dress up, even though there is still over an hour before she needs to leave for work. Not knowing what else to do, she blasts Ghalib at 7:45 a. m. across her apartments.

Just as Jagjit Singh’s throaty, deep voice came out with ‘Aah ko’, her gaze shifted to that picture on the fridge.

Tears filled up her eyes, but a smile spread over her face. Their love story would be a secret that she shall be buried with…

She brought her thoughts back to reality, averting her gaze from the picture, ‘coz the stupid phone rang, else she probably would have relived every second of those three years all over again.

It was her mother, and after fifteen minutes of a completely inane conversation, Zoya managed to put the phone down. She checked the time, and decided to leave for work. How did it matter if she would be 45 minutes early?

While locking up the house, she realised that once again she had forgotten to eat breakfast, just as she did, at least six out of seven times a week. She shrugged her shoulders, lit another cigarette, knowing that the ulcers are going to give her a bad day.

On route to the parking lot she bumped into that stupid, nosy neighbour of hers Mrs. M, whose sole aim in life was to know whom she was dating, and when she planned to finally ‘settle down’. Politely and patiently, in an effort to avert the catastrophe of loosing her temper, Zoya vaguely answered all of Mrs. M’s questions.

Just as she was reversing the car she realised that once again she had not only forgotten not switch off the Music System, but had also forgotten to leave the kitchen light on!

“Oh no! Not again!” she screamed at her own self. Aloud she said, “Today is going to be one hell of a bad day…”

The car needed refuelling, and as usual she had no cash on her. She stopped at the only ATM on route, only to discover that due to the power failure since the night before it wasn’t working. To her sheer dislike and irritation she paid through her credit card, something she hated doing.

All upset and irate she walked into her office, only to find that here too there wasn’t any electricity, and the generators had all packed up!

Not knowing what else to do she lit up another cigarette. Her eighth in the last two hours. It did not de-stress her in anyway, but what it did do was kill her, a little more.

The meetings that she had that day were also cancelled, and by noon her ulcers began to really play up and why wouldn’t they? Umpteen cups of coffee and 20 cigarettes by that time aren’t really helpful, are they???

By 4:00 p.m. she couldn’t take it anymore and so she decided to call it a day. She just wanted to go back to her tiny little haven, her Home!

But God! What a mess her haven was in! As soon as she realised that Sandhaya, her maid had bunked again, she decided that it was time for her to be fired. It being different that it would have to wait till the end of the month.

The LED of the answering machine was blinking, and there was only one message. It was short and simple, but not sweet… “We are coming for dinner at 9. Anna”.

Not knowing what to do with her would be uninvited guests, she pulled out a can of beer and guzzled it down in one go. They weren’t going to understand that she was just too tired to have anyone over, and she had to go to work again on Saturday.

In order to relax herself, she filled up the bathtub, and decided to soak for a while.

An hour later she felt relaxed enough to step out of the tub, and she slipped into the softest of her bathrobes, covering her slender, yet full body.

She decided to cook, and “Italian it is then,” she announced to the walls. Soon the house smelt of melted cheese, pasta and meatballs.

She hadn’t even changed into something, when the doorbell rang. “Who is it?” Zoya called out, but no one answered. When she looked through the eyehole, she froze!

There she stood, ringing the bell, looking impatient, waiting for Zoya to open the door. There she stood, the one Zoya had waited for, for five years.

Again the doorbell rang, and Zoya fumblingly opened the door, not being able to believe that there stood the person whose very memory, and thought had kept her alive…there stood her beloved Subhashini.

Zoya profusely apologised to her beloved Subu for not being fully dressed, smiling, rather grinning, while Subu just stood at the door staring at her…noticing what her departure had done to Zoya, how ravaged and sick she looked….

Subu gently shut the door, bolted it and walked straight up to Zoya, taking her into her arms, she kissed her! Kissed her liked she hadn’t ever before.

“Everyone’s on their way here.” Zoya whispered, to which Subu replied, “I planned it all, no one’s coming Zo!” And, she kissed Zoya again. And, they kissed again, and again and again!

They made love to each other throughout the night, re-discovering each other’s body, every contour and every curve.

In five years the only thing that had changed, was that their hunger, and desire for each other had increased, and passion knew no boundaries.

Zoya cried out in ecstasy as Subu’s tongue found the hollow of her neck, and in sweet, but heartfelt revenge Zoya’s lips took in every last remaining inch of Subhashini’s back.

Yes, it was revenge all right, but of a different kind! Different because the aim was pleasure not pain, exhaustion, a pleasurable tiredness that rejuvenated them.

The love making frenzy, the madness was symbolic of the lust for one another, and yet the gentle ease with which they moved in rhythm, a testimonial of their love and understanding of each other’s need and desire.

While, Subhashini realised how much she had missed Zoya and her body – her muscular, yet slender limbs, her full breasts, her lips…it was Zoya’s eyes that she had missed the most, for they made love to her every second that she looked into them!

Zoya felt reborn, she felt alive, after five long years. The way Subu’s lips gently locked with hers, her hunger ravaged her, her hands roved over her body…drove Zoya crazy! Those hands for Zoya were the hands of a healer, forever warm and forever gentle.

Subu still tasted the sweetest and was still the most intoxicating. While Subhashini fulfilled Zoya, she felt complete, finally.

For two days they did not leave each other’s side. No questions were asked, and no explanations were given. And, for the first time in five year’s Zoya called in sick at work, and nothing else mattered. What mattered was that they were back together!

For the first time in five year’s not only did Zoya not beat the alarm, it wasn’t able to wake her up.

What woke her up was freshly brewed coffee, and a kiss from Subhashini. Just like those three years.

After five long years the dreary, torrid, and lonely winter of Zoya’s life ended, and spring came back with blooming flowers and Subhashini’s scent.

She moved into Zoya’s a week later, leaving behind her past, her family, everything, to live and to breathe freely, to have a future with the person she loved.

Finally, Zoya’s deepest desire was fulfilled, and when Subhashini pulled her close, once again to kiss her, Zoya realised that her dream had finally become reality.



Noor Enayat
24th –25th April 2006

Copyright © Noor Enayat, 2006

The Queen of All

Away from the Shadows of the Past,
Looking through the Windows of the Future,
I Breath, I Smell,
I Feel and I Sense
And,
I shall stay so Forever,
I will die Never,
Because, I am Immortal,
I am my own God.

I rule the night,
'Tis only the Guilty, who I dispise!
I fear no one,
There isn't a thing that worries me,
There is no one that can bother me...

Only showing half my face,
Letting them see only the scars,
My beauty remains hidden,
Shroudded in the darkness,
Hidden between the Stars,
Enmeshed in the night,
Ruling the clouds,
Helping the Weary,
Yet I am not Divine!

I am the Queen of All,
I am the Woman,
I am the Goddess...

I am the Moon,
The helpless victim of the dark...

11th April 2006

Copyright © Noor Enayat, 2006

Where has she gone???

Somewhere we understood each other's fears and needs & wants, fulfilled every void in the other one's life, and somewhere we shared our dreams, built a house, made it home, a family, delegated each other their responsibilities to this home of ours!It all seems so unreal and untrue…as if it was only a dream…. I cannot understand where did it all go wrong? What wrong did we do?The way we understood each other no one could or can ever. She knew how much I feared being alone, while I understood her need for understanding, and I know that somehow, in one way or another I always did manage to provide her all this and much more. I know I did manage to bring peace in her life, peace from the ravages of her childhood. She knew she gave me the very stability that I have craved for, and now once again I crave for it.Polar opposites and yet so alike! I fear myself and trust the world and her beyond all doubt, while she feared the world, trusted herself a lot and me even more. But I can't figure out even now what went wrong.Our love and understanding for each other knew no boundaries, and those who knew us, acknowledged and in many ways envied it! They craved for what we shared and we could not imagine our lives without each other and even then what went wrong? Why did she leave me?We would sit for hours just holding hands, holding on to each other, just trying to satiate the insatiable need of ours to be together…hold on to each other.Lovers we were, best friends we will be forever and yet she left me!Why I ask? What wrong did I do? Did not everyone say that we were meant to be together…didn't we decide so?We dreamt together, we built a house together, read with one another, travelled never without the other, we did everything together and yet she left me!Why? Why? Why?The last time I saw her was when they took her to the ER, after that truck hit her car when she was backing out of the driveway, to go and teach. All she said was that she loved me and would forever do, and that I better keep the house clean till she returns from the hospital.But she isn't there anymore and I cannot find her. No one tells me where she's gone. No one answers and I am waiting for her to come back.She would never leave me alone, she promised so. I know she wouldn't…she is the one who always keeps her promises…she wouldn't break a promise she made to me!She comes to me in my dreams now and talks to me…but each time I ask her why she left, she refuses to answer!The people around me do not tell me why she left? When I ask our friends they just cry but no one answers…They say I need to see a doctor…they say I need help…they say I need to accept the truth…What is the truth I ask? No one answers me when I ask why she left me? No answers when I ask them where she has gone. No one tells me if there is anything I did wrong. I keep asking and they don't tell me.All they say is that I need help…but they don't answer.Could you tell me where is it that she went? Could you help me find her? I'm waiting still for her to return.Anna just called and said they're getting her, and that I should be prepared for her…but I don't understand why should I be prepared for her to return? I mean I'm waiting for her come back. They know I miss her so much! She knows that by now I would have gone crazy waiting for her to come back! Why are they asking me to be prepared for her return? Anna said I should gather up my courage and get a grip on myself….but I don't understand why she's saying this!Anna say's today is the funeral that I have to attend…but I don't know who it is that died?She knows that hate funerals and I hate going to them alone…I hope she is back by the time I have to go…so I wont have to go alone…I don't want to go alone!They say I need to give away all her stuff, but they don't tell me why? Why should I? She's going to come back soon and then what will I do? What will she wear and how will she be able to write without her favourite stationary? How will she be able to paint without her colours?Oh! Did I tell you she writes amazing poetry and paints the most beautiful paintings ever!I miss her so much already! She's only been gone for three days but all seems so empty without her. She never goes anywhere without telling me….so I can't understand where has she gone without telling me?Why doesn't anyone tell me where has she gone? Why has she gone?

this is a short story dat i wrote one day at office when i had nothig to do....sheer boredom i guess...it aint anythin great jus something that came out instantaneously and managed to finish it in 15 minutes flat.... :-D Also this picture is a part of my Moon collection that im in the process of photographing and hopefully will soon be able to take out a kinda coffee table book.....

Copyright © Noor Enayat, 2006