She walked in from work… something was right about today… may be because it was finally cold… just the way she liked…
Something about the day was good from the moment she woke up… something was right… she was happy just to wake up today… she smiled from the moment she awoke…
With every breathe she took, she enjoyed the smell of winter. She felt alive after o long and she did not know why. Maybe the realization that it was ok to love someone who youd never get… may be realizing that if she was happy about the few months they had shared together and was not crying for the lifetime they might have had together did not mean she did not love her enough or at all…
What ever it was something had changed for her this morning, something wasn’t the same… life looked better, life smiled and the pain of not having her made her feel more alive and happy, for it meant she had the power to love still…
When the day came to an end she never knew and the drive back home was never so pleasant as she felt it was even though the traffic was no less, if not more, nor was there any lack of jams, errant drivers… but none of it bothered her… she felt free after so long…
She was happy in her own solitude and her loneliness… she realized she was happy with just the thoughts of that one, the one who got away… the only one she had ever truly loved… the only one she had wanted and prayed for each day…
She walked into the house, and blasted music, made herself a strong drink and opened all the doors and windows to let the smell and the cold of winter creep into the house…
She lit all the candles… it was a date with herself tonight… she walked into the kitchen and cooked herself a meal… opened the best bottle of wine for herself… as she savoured every bite of what she ate, she remembered the wonderful evenings and meals they had shared together and with music…
She walked out to the balcony, taking in the smell of the cold winter night, enjoying the wind rustling the leaves gently and yet the stillness of the night… she took the decision that was long due…
She decided that she was tired of living in two halves, two parts of her – one that was happy for the world and the other that was forever sad… she knew she was tired…
She walked up to her room, changed into that the sari that she had been gifted by her and yet had never worn… when she stepped out into the balcony and it was biting cold… she walked to the edge, and she jumped… jumped down 6 floors to her freedom and to her escape…
And she was free at last… and as she fell, she smiled…
