Where has she gone???

Somewhere we understood each other's fears and needs & wants, fulfilled every void in the other one's life, and somewhere we shared our dreams, built a house, made it home, a family, delegated each other their responsibilities to this home of ours!It all seems so unreal and untrue…as if it was only a dream…. I cannot understand where did it all go wrong? What wrong did we do?The way we understood each other no one could or can ever. She knew how much I feared being alone, while I understood her need for understanding, and I know that somehow, in one way or another I always did manage to provide her all this and much more. I know I did manage to bring peace in her life, peace from the ravages of her childhood. She knew she gave me the very stability that I have craved for, and now once again I crave for it.Polar opposites and yet so alike! I fear myself and trust the world and her beyond all doubt, while she feared the world, trusted herself a lot and me even more. But I can't figure out even now what went wrong.Our love and understanding for each other knew no boundaries, and those who knew us, acknowledged and in many ways envied it! They craved for what we shared and we could not imagine our lives without each other and even then what went wrong? Why did she leave me?We would sit for hours just holding hands, holding on to each other, just trying to satiate the insatiable need of ours to be together…hold on to each other.Lovers we were, best friends we will be forever and yet she left me!Why I ask? What wrong did I do? Did not everyone say that we were meant to be together…didn't we decide so?We dreamt together, we built a house together, read with one another, travelled never without the other, we did everything together and yet she left me!Why? Why? Why?The last time I saw her was when they took her to the ER, after that truck hit her car when she was backing out of the driveway, to go and teach. All she said was that she loved me and would forever do, and that I better keep the house clean till she returns from the hospital.But she isn't there anymore and I cannot find her. No one tells me where she's gone. No one answers and I am waiting for her to come back.She would never leave me alone, she promised so. I know she wouldn't…she is the one who always keeps her promises…she wouldn't break a promise she made to me!She comes to me in my dreams now and talks to me…but each time I ask her why she left, she refuses to answer!The people around me do not tell me why she left? When I ask our friends they just cry but no one answers…They say I need to see a doctor…they say I need help…they say I need to accept the truth…What is the truth I ask? No one answers me when I ask why she left me? No answers when I ask them where she has gone. No one tells me if there is anything I did wrong. I keep asking and they don't tell me.All they say is that I need help…but they don't answer.Could you tell me where is it that she went? Could you help me find her? I'm waiting still for her to return.Anna just called and said they're getting her, and that I should be prepared for her…but I don't understand why should I be prepared for her to return? I mean I'm waiting for her come back. They know I miss her so much! She knows that by now I would have gone crazy waiting for her to come back! Why are they asking me to be prepared for her return? Anna said I should gather up my courage and get a grip on myself….but I don't understand why she's saying this!Anna say's today is the funeral that I have to attend…but I don't know who it is that died?She knows that hate funerals and I hate going to them alone…I hope she is back by the time I have to go…so I wont have to go alone…I don't want to go alone!They say I need to give away all her stuff, but they don't tell me why? Why should I? She's going to come back soon and then what will I do? What will she wear and how will she be able to write without her favourite stationary? How will she be able to paint without her colours?Oh! Did I tell you she writes amazing poetry and paints the most beautiful paintings ever!I miss her so much already! She's only been gone for three days but all seems so empty without her. She never goes anywhere without telling me….so I can't understand where has she gone without telling me?Why doesn't anyone tell me where has she gone? Why has she gone?

this is a short story dat i wrote one day at office when i had nothig to do....sheer boredom i guess...it aint anythin great jus something that came out instantaneously and managed to finish it in 15 minutes flat.... :-D Also this picture is a part of my Moon collection that im in the process of photographing and hopefully will soon be able to take out a kinda coffee table book.....

Copyright © Noor Enayat, 2006